Second Chances CAN Work
I loved being invited to contribute to this article as published on FairyGodBoss, about whether or not second chances can work. Because I know for a fact that they CAN!
You just have to put in the work and learn from what went wrong the first time!
I am living proof that rekindling with an ex can work out. This is a topic that I’m so passionate about, I even have a course about it!
My husband and I have been happily married for almost 14 years now. But going back more than a decade, he was an ex boyfriend who broke my heart into a million pieces.
That breakup/life crisis actually turned into one of the biggest self-growth opportunities of my life. I hired a coach, trusted the process, and I completely changed who I was.
Read: total 180!
I morphed from a very insecure girl with a bad case of abandonment issues, into a whole, healed and confident young woman.
And 18 months later he came running back.
And I chose him.
So, what made this possible?? Here I break down for you the top 3 things that need to happen in order to make it possible:
You’ve Both Changed
I can’t stress enough how important this is. Let me get real with you: good relationships don’t break up. So some major changes and shifts have to have taken place since your breakup, in order to give you a fighting chance at success with round 2.
What kind of personal development have you both focused on? How have you both changed? How will it be different this time?
What Do You Want?
Have you gotten really clear on what it is you actually want? I connect with so many women who settle for a partner who is way out of alignment with their worth, because ultimately they don’t value themselves enough to demand more.
Grab your journal and write out exactly what you want in a relationship. Then figure out how many of the things on your list you know your ex will fulfill. Remember: You can’t count their “potential”!
Live In The Present
If you’re ready to give it another go with your ex, then make a promise to each other to remain fully in the present and to not bring up pain from the past.
Yes, there may be omends that you need to be made, especially in the case of broken trust. But constantly bringing up the past and throwing past failures into each other’s faces is a recipe for disaster, and not proactive for a successful second go!
Focus on the present and on the potential of your future together.