Wave the white flag

Anxiety is a bit of a buzzword right now, but I’m not writing about this topic because its trendy, I’m writing about it because it’s personal to me and because as a life coach, I have a calling to help others who have been where I was. 

There is a tendency in the US to throw medication at an anxiety problem. And if you were like me, you may have been made to believe that your broken brain was the reason for your anxiety and that only medication would help you. Now don’t get me wrong, medication is important in two scenarios:

  • If your anxiety is severe and debilitating, or destructive to yourself or others, or
  • If you feel like you’re just not coping, medication can help you to cope short term.

But there are some problems with medication in situations other than those mentioned above:

  • People don’t take medication in conjunction with some kind of therapy so the treatment is therefore incomplete, and more often that not, less effective.
  • Often times the side effects outweigh the benefits.  
  • Medication is actually not effective in a large percentage of cases (I’ll expand on this later)
  • Patients can develop a lower tolerance, thus needing to constantly increase the dosage to maintain relief.
  • Taking medication can desensitize you to the original cause of your anxiety, thus removing your motivation to make the changes needed for lasting improvement. 

“If you are depressed you are living in the past.

If you are anxious you are living in the future.

If you are at peace you are living in the present.” Lao Tzu

Medication is actually not effective in a large percentage of cases.

Why is that?!

It’s because Anxiety and Depression is mostly caused by events that have happened in your life, or are happening in your life.

  • If you hate your job you are more likely to feel depressed.
  • If you’re lonely and feel unsupported you are more likely to feel depressed.
  • If you are insecure within yourself and about your future, you’re more likely to be anxious.
  • If you’re insecure, you’re more likely to have an unhappy relationship because you’re constantly seeking reassurance.
  • If you suffered any kind of childhood emotional hurt. (I chose the word “hurt” over “trauma” because I’m purposely avoiding speaking to very deep wounds that should be dealt with primarily by a Psychotherapist)

Any kind of wound or hurt that occurred in your childhood made you feel powerless at the time, and so our little kid brains form a habit in response to this in an attempt at giving us some kind of power over what’s happening.

As a little girl I was rejected and criticized by both parents into feeling acutely ashamed of who I was. As a result, I unsurprisingly developed a very low sense of self-worth and my anxiety is a direct result of my low self-esteem.

Anxiety is a symptom.

It is a preoccupation with the future.

It is a constant search for reassurance about what is to come.

And it comes from a fundamental belief that we are not in control. Over anything.

And it comes from a fundamental belief that we are not good enough.

Anxiety is our best attempt at feeling in control. At trying to find security through control.

See? Powerlessness. Anxiety gives us a false sense of control.

It’s time to wave the white flag people. Let go.

What hurt or wound in your life was actually the cause to you creating anxiety as a solution to that problem?

Let me ask that again…..

What hurt. Or wound. In your life. Was actually the cause. To you creating anxiety. As a solution. To that problem?

What is the underlying cause of your anxiety? Because anxiety is almost always a symptom!

What I teach in my online courses and use in my coaching approach is my signature formula:


We first have to uncover the information we need to shift forward. We have to face it, talk about it.

Then we can heal. For me, that involved releasing the shame and rebuilding my subconscious belief systems from the ground up.

On a new foundation of real and enduring self-esteem, I could then EVOLVE.

My Evolution meant:

  • Learning an authentic and enduring self-worth.
  • Healing from a chronic illness.
  • Becoming a better parent to my 2 beautiful girls,
  • Finally starting my dream business, that I’ve been working towards for the last 18 years.
  • Recovering from huge life-altering circumstances.

How I can help you make the same shifts in YOUR life? By help you….

  • Identify old belief systems and habituated thought patterns
  • Re-imagine your life (using my signature method)
  • Be 100% committed to CHANGE and TAKING ACTION
  • Heal toxic emotions and relationships.
  • Learn genuine self-love
  • Ultimately reclaim your Power.

If any of these things sound like what you’re looking for, I can help you.

I gotchu.  

Check out my course, Combat The Critic, that deals with just this topic! Also check out my other coaching services.




Disclaimer: I am talking to the person who has low level anxiety, social anxiety, generalized anxiety. If you have SEVERE and crippling anxiety, you should clearly see a Psychotherapist immediately.